Grief is a powerful, often confusing emotion that comes when we lose someone or something important. It does not only involve when a loved one passes but can be about anything related to loss, like when a close friend moves away, ending a relationship, or completing a significant chapter in life. Grief also impacts everyone differently, so it’s important to recognise that there is no “right” way to grieve – everyone’s experience is unique.

What Does It Feel Like?

Grief can bring a wide range of emotions, and sometimes it can change daily or even hourly. Some common feelings include:

  • Sadness or loneliness, because we are intensely missing the person who is no longer there
  • Anger or frustration, because we may feel helpless 
  • Confusion or numbness, because we may know what to do, feel, or even just feel “nothing”
  • Guilt, because we may wonder if we could have done something differently that changed the outcome

Keep in mind that these emotions are natural. Grief isn’t a problem to be “fixed” but rather a process. If we can understand it better, we can learn how to cope in a healthy way. It can also help us know when we should seek professional help, especially if grief negatively impacts our daily lives for a long time.

Coping with Grief

While grief can feel isolating, you don’t have to go through it alone. Consider some of these ways to manage your emotions:

  • Talk about it: Share your feelings with someone you trust because it can make the weight of the grief easier to carry. When we coop up our thoughts and feelings inside, our emotions can get intense and make us feel worse. Talking about the person or the experience is also another way to process what has happened, and how we can move forward.
  • Express yourself: When words aren’t enough or hard to articulate, try to express them in a different way. Try writing, painting, crafting, or even playing music. Doing something creative can help process your emotions.
  • Get active: Research shows that movement brings great benefits to our mental and physical health. Whether it’s a walk through the park, playing sports, or even dancing, can help improve your mood.
  • Honour the person: Finding ways to remember the person or situation can be very comforting. Think of ways to preserve the memories, like creating a tradition or crafting something in their honour (like a scrapbook). This process acknowledges how meaningful that relationship or experience was to you, helping to transform the pain into a feeling of gratitude. 

When to Seek Help

Grief can sometimes be overwhelming, which is a natural part of the process. But look out for signs that it’s time to seek professional help. In the beginning, we may need a few days or weeks to collect ourselves and adjust to the change. However, if you notice that the sadness or other intense emotions continue to stop you from enjoying things you usually like or negatively affecting your schoolwork and relationships, talking to a counsellor can help. Counselling offers a safe space to explore your feelings without judgement. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help.