Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword, especially when navigating studies and relationships. On one hand, striving for excellence can lead to great achievements. On the other, perfectionism often becomes a heavy burden, fueling self-doubt, anxiety, and even procrastination. The pursuit of an unattainable ideal can prevent you from enjoying life and recognising your progress. 

What is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism goes beyond wanting to do well. It can show up as setting impossibly high standards, being overly critical of yourself, and feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough. You may also constantly fear failure, avoid challenges, or delay tasks because you’re scared they won’t be “perfect”. So, reflect how you’ve been feeling because recognising these patterns is the first step to changing them. Let’s take a look at six ways to help overcome perfectionism and build a healthier mindset.

1. See Mistakes as Growth

No one achieves success without setbacks. Mistakes are a natural part of learning (and sometimes you can learn even more through mistakes!). So, instead of viewing them as personal failures, see them as opportunities to improve. Reframe errors as steps on the path to mastery rather than signs that you’re not capable. Shift your focus from the outcome to the process, and value effort and progress over flawlessness. 

2. Set Realistic Goals

One of the most common traits of perfectionism is setting goals that are nearly impossible to achieve. Instead, break large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Set deadlines for each step and celebrate progress along the way. By aiming for “good enough” rather than perfection, you’ll be more productive and less stressed. Remember, a goal that’s too ambitious is more likely to lead to frustration and burnout.

3. Be Kind to Yourself

Perfectionism often involves an inner voice that is overly critical. Statements like “I’m not smart enough” or “I’ll never succeed” can become habitual, feeding into self-doubt. Combat these thoughts by practising self-compassion. Replace negative self-talk with more realistic affirmations, such as, “I’m doing my best” or “That’s enough”. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would show a friend.

4. Understand You Can’t Control Everything

Life is full of uncertainties. Perfectionism often comes from the desire to control every outcome, but this isn’t realistic! You can’t always control what people say or do but what you can control is how you respond to situations. Being mindful of this can help you approach challenges with more flexibility and resilience.

5. Prioritise Self-Care

Perfectionism also often involves neglecting self-care, thinking that downtime is wasted time. In reality, rest and relaxation are very important to maintain mental and physical health. Make time for activities that you enjoy or bring feelings of joy, whether it’s music, sports, arts, or spending time with friends or on a hobby. When you take care of your well-being, you’ll be more focused and energised to handle what you need to do.

6. Seek Support

Talking to others can help you gain perspective. Whether it’s friends, family, or a therapist, having someone to confide in can ease the pressure you put on yourself. They can remind you that you don’t have to be perfect to be loved, respected, or successful. Perfectionism can be a tough habit to break but with small steps and efforts, you’ll find yourself more at peace and more productive!